The report for last Wednesday's meeting will be a short one due to pressing issues concerning the war in India, which has just come into the limelight. Supposedly there is an infidel by the name of Ghandi who is posing a resistance of sorts. Pray that luck will be on my side as I crush the rebellion swiftly and with little mercy!
We did have the honor of welcoming a new guest who happens to be quite classy in his very nature. His name is Derek Haas, (no relation to the avocado), and he has a bright future in our midst.
Also, we, as in the men among us, are anticipating the impending onset of Menopause for all the women who have partaken in the tea-tasting last Wednesday. Let us remember this is truly a difficult and trying time in their lives, and we do not want to miss the opportunity to make fun of them. For those of us who are on a more intimate level with certain women it will be easy to detect the signs and symptoms of developing menopause. But for those who merely possess cordial relations with the women, it is important to know and be able to identify the signs.
Picture Menopause Mark, a large, evil superhuman power who sweeps over the earth in search of his new prey. Usually his victims are of riper age but those who drink the Menopause tea have been know to fall into his cunning traps. He prowls the earth, his food is the hormone estrogen.
The effects of lower estrogen levels in our female counterparts is unmistakeable. The classic signs are hot flashes and mood changes, but since the ladies have always presented with these symptoms we need to dig deeper to differentiate between Menopause and just another day in the life of a woman.
One must look for more subtle signs such as migraines, rapid heartbeats, urinary frequency and urinary incontinence, which by the way is a hard one to discover. The most telltale sign however, is formication, not to be confused with his pagan cousin fornication. Formication referes to skin sensations such as crawling, itching or tingling sensations like when you have a bug on your skin.
Well there you have it boys, best of luck to you. Lets support each other in this trying time and keep each other updated with the developments in the female sectors of our lives. Love to all.
You stay classy Collegedale.
-david
P.S. That's right. I just made a conversation about Menopause classy!
Will keep you all updated on the above mentioned developments with my female counterpart. Fellas, I may need support on this one, but I know I can count on you all; and despite the great amounts of testosterone we all posses, let us not become passive in monitoring our own health. Pay attention to additional symptoms the brewed tea may have on a male, such as wearing uggly boots, speaking in texting language, and watching the lifetime channel or glee.
ReplyDeleteAlways pursue luxury my friends. As Oscar Wilde said "I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best."